"Septet" is defined in the dictionary as "a set of seven". From time to time, this feature will appear on my site. It has no particular agenda and will cover a broad range of topics. It will always be short, easily readable and cover only seven elements. The significance of seven is simply due to the birth date of walkthisway: 07 Dec '07.
Seven Thoughts on True Friendship
I recently re-established communication with my best friend from my schoolboy teenage years, with whom I had had sporadic, but not particularly regular, contact over the intervening years, covering a few decades. We live on different continents and have only seen each other once in 33 years, but still relate to one another as if we’ve always lived only a few streets apart. He “found” me via this website and sent me an email; I responded and the rest is history.
This got me thinking about the nature of real friendship. I’d like to share my thoughts with you.
Real, true friendship never, ever wanes. It holds within it the basic “recipe” (like DNA, or a seed or bulb) that retains its original strength and core elements, even over decades. All it needs to bloom once again is the tiniest element of contact, like “water and warmth” do for the dormant seeds of flowers in the semi-desert of Namaqualand each year, creating the magnificent carpets of colour.
Friends seldom, if ever, need to “explain” things to each other. They simply “know” what the other is thinking, feeling or experiencing, simply by being observant and engaging their intuition or “sixth sense”.
No truth is ever purer than that shared between true friends. In this context there are absolutely no boundaries, no recriminations and no taboos. It is as it is.
No secret is ever safer than that between true friends. It transcends that of doctor-patient or attorney-client relationships and cannot be unlocked by law or third-party interventions. Impenetrable.
There is no “score card” at play between friends – no expectation of reciprocation or “I owe you” ever comes to the fore. Everything balances according to the nature of the bond.
Anything done within the bounds and in the practice of true friendship implies integrity, honesty and respect. In this context apologies are irrelevant.
True friendships achieve immortality in the context of absolute truth and unconditional loyalty to each other. The only enemies of friendship are lies and betrayal. Any one or both of these instantly destroys the bond, for which there is categorically no restorative. The death of a friendship in this manner is eternally irreversible.
Don’t be concerned if you only have few, or even just one, true friend. Cherish them and be blessed throughout your life. One doesn’t set out to find a friend – they come into our lives naturally according to the mysteries of personality and character. You can’t “prepare” to become a good friend, neither can you prescribe the requirements for one. It simply happens. How will you know when it happens? When you no longer have to ask the question!
Graham
Seven Challenges for Positive South Africans
Everyone currently living in this beautiful country has a responsibility to contribute to the discovery and promotion of that which is good and positive about South Africa. We should all become explorers and adventurers, going to unfamiliar places and talking to people currently unknown to us in a grand effort to focus the spotlight on the great reservoir of good that is being done in every part of this land every day. Let’s “eliminate” and “crush” negativity, pessimism and gloom. Mobilise yourself and others in your environment to take up this quest.
Make a concerted effort at least twice a week to share with a fellow South African what action you are taking personally to improve something which you think is wrong in our country.
Find a success story about something that was previously wrong or inefficient in the country and tell at least five people about the improvement you have discovered.
Actively undertake to find something good and positive to say to others about public figures you have criticised in the past. No-one is wholly bad.
If there is an issue or situation in the country that deeply concerns you, make a commitment to contact someone who you know for sure has the position and authority to address the problem. Go as high as you possibly can. Do so today.
Write a letter to the press in which you praise and support someone who is making a positive contribution to the country. Try to find someone who has not previously been in the limelight.
Make sure that you have registered as a voter by December 2008.
Buy a South African flag, or a sticker of the flag or a desk pennant of the flag and display it proudly and prominently where all can see it. It’s a beautiful flag and represents everything good about this country.
Imagine the awesome power of millions of hitherto unheard or silent voices suddenly speaking up positively about this magnificent country of ours and the people who live in it. The effect will be unfathomable and is guaranteed to drown out the prophets of doom and critical empty vessels. Become a herald of hope.
Graham
Seven Lessons to teach a Child
Every one of us is a mentor and role model for those with whom we come into contact on a daily basis. Whether we make this a conscious activity and focus on showing others the next set of steps along life’s journey, or end up doing so by default or passively, makes very little difference in the end. People are often inclined to either copy what others do, especially when it turns out to be something good and virtuous, or they avoid what they see others do when it is clearly something bad or ugly. Children, in particular, are amongst the most impressionable people and are therefore very susceptible to examples set by others, especially mature adults or “grown ups” in their language.
There is immense good in every human being and we show this by treating people with friendliness, respect and dignity.
A smile and a kind word achieve immeasurably better results than an angry face and loud, harsh utterances.
The words “please” and “thank you” are truly magic wands that create wonderful things.
It is perfectly fine to cry when you’re sad and to laugh when you’re happy – emotions are healthy when expressed honestly and without hurting or disadvantaging anyone else.
Unconditionally sharing something that you have with someone who doesn’t, miraculously gives you so much more than you’ll “lose” by sharing it.
Always telling the truth, even when it hurts you, is one of the best ways to remain emotionally and spiritually strong and healthy throughout your life.
Forgive those who truly apologise for their mistakes or trespasses, and unconditionally confess your transgressions if you expect others to forgive you.
We have a very special opportunity to influence a child’s character and values development every time we interact with them or even feature in their space. In this context, therefore, we need to take this responsibility seriously and seek to put our very best on display whenever we find ourselves in the company of children. Go out with care and make a meaningful contribution towards the development of a future generation to whom we can confidently entrust all that is good and worthwhile in this world.
Graham
Seven places to visit before you’re a year older
We live such rushed lives day in and day out, often doing others’ bidding and chasing the “big money” dream. We drag ourselves from one weekend to the next, often having little time and opportunity to pursue leisure activities to the extent that a healthy lifestyle requires. It is a good idea to make an effort to visit and spend some special time in places that are important to restore balance and perspective to our hectic, sometimes very stressed lives. Doing so could add years to your life!
Your local botanical garden, memorial park or nature reserve.
Any museum, restored building or public historical site in your area.
The first and last educational institution (school, college, university) that you attended. Try to coincide your visits with special events at these places and set out to rekindle your memories and associations with them.
Your favourite holiday destination that you frequented with your family as a child.
An old age home or orphanage in your area. Spend time talking to and sharing experiences with some people there.
Your local library, and look up the history of your city, town, village.
The one place in your country that always comes to mind as somewhere you would love to visit but have never quite got around to making the trip.
Many of us go through life promising ourselves to do things and go places that have special meaning for us, but more often than not we somehow don’t manage to make it all happen. Don’t allow your roller-coaster life to rob you of the pleasures of making your wishes come true. If you do, regrets and “if only’s” will become a feature of your senior years and diminish the richness of your memories. Build up your memory bank and add to your life’s experiences by rewarding yourself with these special places. You might even find a new cause to espouse as a result!
Graham
Seven Sentimental Gifts to give your Life Partner or Soul Mate
So many of us collect things that have sentimental value. The simplest definition I know for this term is: "the value of a thing to a particular person because of its associations". Give one or more of the following things to your life partner or soul mate on special occasions in your shared life or journey.
Make an audio recording of something deeply special that you want to say to this person. Say it in person when you give this gift, leaving the recorded version as a permanent reminder.
Make a copy of your life partner's favourite song or piece of music by their favourite artist or performer. Attach a card with a special message to this gift, date it and indicate the place where you gave it to him or her.
Hand write your life partner's favourite poem, quote or religious passage onto a sheet of special, unique paper. Sign and date it.
Arrange for a professional photographer to take a photograph of you and your life partner together in a special setting. Put it in a good frame.
Give your life partner one of your special personal possessions that you would have left to them in your will.
Give the person a bonsai tree grown from the year you and your life partner met each other or any other year of special significance for you both.
Depending on your particular area of mutual interest, sponsor a seat in both your names in a theatre, sports stadium, auditorium, public garden or some place of a similar nature.
Memories represent the major part of most things sentimental, so the more shared memories you and your life partner or soul mate accumulate over time, the stronger the associations with such people, places and events will become. Eventually your sentimental moments together will be manifested in many indelible footprints stretching way back in time. The lasting images of an adventurous and meaningful journey together along the byways of life.
Graham
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